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Episode 4-The Not So Long Awaited Come Back Of Starship Beaverprise
"Another" Shough-Gilmour Production
Written By Justin Shough and Alex Gilmour: In their last strained attempt to bring happiness to your lives!
Captains Log Star Date 4.1: Well to sum up what we have achieved so far… Err well not much really, but we do have a few reasons to feel happy with ourselves…like when I made fairy cakes to go with the tea and coffee at brunch, and the fact Rosemary is now dead, oh and making peace with Nethermoore and Yarnellia…I guess that was a good thing. Anyway I hope you people haven’t come here to read something funny because I have run out of ideas.
Alex: Funny? Ideas? What are you talking about? I’m here to tell you that there’s a problem with the flight that path Joe J… I mean Moe Jones planned.
Captain: Of course! Let us go to that room where we plan things, what’s it called?
Alex: Answers on the back of postcards!
Captain: Err yeah anyway, get the rest of the crew together this is important, isn’t it?
Alex: Guess, nobody really cares though…apart from the people of Earth of course because they will all perish Mwahahaha…
Captain: You evil man… ha! I can just see them committing suicide. Anyway lets get to work!
In The Room That They Err Plan Things…
Captain: Ok? Everybody here, well I can’t be bothered to wait if you aren’t all here anyway, so Alex what appears to be the problem?
Alex: Well it appears that this is Episode4 and nothing funny or important has happened yet…I mean err when Moe planned the flight path he didn’t take into account that there’s an asteroid field containing around 60 asteroids right in the middle of where we are headed.
Captain: So what’s your point?
Alex: The “point” is that if we head in that direction for much longer their gravitational pull is going to affect our ship and suck us into their path…effectively destroying us.
Captain: Would that be a bad thing? I mean…that would be a bad thing!
B6B: Sir I have spent a few hours looking at the ships central controls and we would be unable to navigate from asteroid to asteroid they weren’t built with enough precision, we our going to have to make a diversion, I suggest you look into near by “friendly” planets in which we can land, also if you didn’t know we have almost completely run out of star ship fuel and food supplies.
Captain: How strange, all this has happened at once…it doesn’t seem “fake” at all. does it?
Paul: Who the hell are you talking to?
Captain: Oh nobody, I just so happened to look at that information last night! Coincidence? No surely not, it appears we are within sufficient range of the planet T£$c0! It should take us no longer than an hour and 15 minutes to reach its surface, Mr Moe create our flight path and double check it this time! All you others go and do something else for an hour and 14 minutes.
Paul: Tesco? Isn’t that a supermarket?
Captain: I said T£$c0! you fool it’s a…planet!
An hour and 14 minutes later…
Alex: Oh my god! They’ve killed the Captain! What the hell is going to happen now?
B6B: No, it’ll be ok, this happens all the time! Mr. Spock will bring him back to life!
Alex: Why the hell do we watch this stupid Star Trek anyway? It’s about a bunch of men in sexually arousing suits, travelling around space and landing on uncharted planets and stuff! It’s so predictable! I mean, if I were in it I’d do something interesting for a change, y’know like kill someone or something!
Captain: It seems we have avoided the asteroids and are now landing on that friendly planet we mentioned earlier
Moe: Captain, I’m reading something on our sensors! It doesn’t look good!
Captain:Who’s dad doesn't look good, whos Spencer?
Moe: I said our Sensors, not Spencer!
Captain: Oh, Bring it up on screen!
B6B: Good God! It’s a Fat Boy Slim Bird of Prey!
Captain: Ohh, crap! Those Fat Boy Slim’s are maniacs! They are true warriors and have stupid foreheads that we’d make fun of here if we knew they wouldn’t kill us! Open communications! Let’s hear that new Fat Boy sound!
Moe: Right o!
Captain: This is the captain of the…hang on what’s it called again? Oh I remember…”The Starship Beaverprise”. We come in peace! Do not fire on us!
On screen: A hideous blob like alien appears…( No not Mrs Chaplin)
Alien: Praise you, woooo…huh? Who the hell are you? You’re not from Brighton!
Captain: Eh?
Alien: I am the leader of the Fat Boy Slims, many call me Norman, but most of those are dead now! I understand that you want to fire on us!?!
Captain: No, I said that we didn’t want…
Norman: Then pick your weapon of choice, for we shall fight right here, right now!
Captain: But, but….
Norman: No buts about it, you better hurry otherwise you’ll be f*cking in heaven sooner than you think!
Female Alien: Norman! What the hell are you doing? I told you to stop playing with the puny earthlings and to come and take me to Love Island!
Crew: Erghhhhhhhh…
Norman: But Boe-Zall I prefer Kalifornia! And leave me alone when I’m gangster tripping!
Boe-Zall: O, Norman you rockafeller skank!
Alex: Hehe! Seems they’re having their own little private war! Let’s get out of here before they remember they were going to destroy us!
THIS EPISODE OF STARSHIP BEAVERPRISE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU FROM THE GOOD PEOPLE AT ‘ACID 8000’ – THE THIRST QUENCHING DRINK THAT GUARANTEES TO TAKE YOUR SOUL SURFING!
Paul: Who the hell was that?
Captain: Shut up!
Alex: Anyway…what were we doing before that excuse for some jokes arrived?
Captain: Err…Dunno!
B6B: Don’t look at me!
Paul: We were going to that planet, as we had to avoid the asteroids, so that we could stock up on food supplies and get some starship fuel!
Captain: Shut up!
And so the Captain of the Starship Beaverprise tied and gagged Paul, with a little help from Alex and locked him in the brig, which basically is a fancy futuristic name for a jail cell! And once they’d got rid of this mildly annoying and pretty useless officer they flew off into the sunset, without fuel or food supplies to help them. Thus running out after about 5 minutes…they crash-landed on the Planet Bangdilon and unable to find food or fuel they slaughtered both John Doe 7.2 and John Doe 7.3, ground them up and made them into starship fuel. And when it came to the food, John Doe 8 proved to be a very tasty dish indeed.
R.O.B.E. has become annoyed because he didn’t appear in this episode and so has disconnected you from the server. If you wish to destroy him in some way hit any key now.
Now you fool!
Episode 4-The Not So Long Awaited Come Back Of Starship Beaverprise
"Another" Shough-Gilmour Production
Written By Justin Shough and Alex Gilmour: In their last strained attempt to bring happiness to your lives!
Captains Log Star Date 4.1: Well to sum up what we have achieved so far… Err well not much really, but we do have a few reasons to feel happy with ourselves…like when I made fairy cakes to go with the tea and coffee at brunch, and the fact Rosemary is now dead, oh and making peace with Nethermoore and Yarnellia…I guess that was a good thing. Anyway I hope you people haven’t come here to read something funny because I have run out of ideas.
Alex: Funny? Ideas? What are you talking about? I’m here to tell you that there’s a problem with the flight that path Joe J… I mean Moe Jones planned.
Captain: Of course! Let us go to that room where we plan things, what’s it called?
Alex: Answers on the back of postcards!
Captain: Err yeah anyway, get the rest of the crew together this is important, isn’t it?
Alex: Guess, nobody really cares though…apart from the people of Earth of course because they will all perish Mwahahaha…
Captain: You evil man… ha! I can just see them committing suicide. Anyway lets get to work!
In The Room That They Err Plan Things…
Captain: Ok? Everybody here, well I can’t be bothered to wait if you aren’t all here anyway, so Alex what appears to be the problem?
Alex: Well it appears that this is Episode4 and nothing funny or important has happened yet…I mean err when Moe planned the flight path he didn’t take into account that there’s an asteroid field containing around 60 asteroids right in the middle of where we are headed.
Captain: So what’s your point?
Alex: The “point” is that if we head in that direction for much longer their gravitational pull is going to affect our ship and suck us into their path…effectively destroying us.
Captain: Would that be a bad thing? I mean…that would be a bad thing!
B6B: Sir I have spent a few hours looking at the ships central controls and we would be unable to navigate from asteroid to asteroid they weren’t built with enough precision, we our going to have to make a diversion, I suggest you look into near by “friendly” planets in which we can land, also if you didn’t know we have almost completely run out of star ship fuel and food supplies.
Captain: How strange, all this has happened at once…it doesn’t seem “fake” at all. does it?
Paul: Who the hell are you talking to?
Captain: Oh nobody, I just so happened to look at that information last night! Coincidence? No surely not, it appears we are within sufficient range of the planet T£$c0! It should take us no longer than an hour and 15 minutes to reach its surface, Mr Moe create our flight path and double check it this time! All you others go and do something else for an hour and 14 minutes.
Paul: Tesco? Isn’t that a supermarket?
Captain: I said T£$c0! you fool it’s a…planet!
An hour and 14 minutes later…
Alex: Oh my god! They’ve killed the Captain! What the hell is going to happen now?
B6B: No, it’ll be ok, this happens all the time! Mr. Spock will bring him back to life!
Alex: Why the hell do we watch this stupid Star Trek anyway? It’s about a bunch of men in sexually arousing suits, travelling around space and landing on uncharted planets and stuff! It’s so predictable! I mean, if I were in it I’d do something interesting for a change, y’know like kill someone or something!
Captain: It seems we have avoided the asteroids and are now landing on that friendly planet we mentioned earlier
Moe: Captain, I’m reading something on our sensors! It doesn’t look good!
Captain:Who’s dad doesn't look good, whos Spencer?
Moe: I said our Sensors, not Spencer!
Captain: Oh, Bring it up on screen!
B6B: Good God! It’s a Fat Boy Slim Bird of Prey!
Captain: Ohh, crap! Those Fat Boy Slim’s are maniacs! They are true warriors and have stupid foreheads that we’d make fun of here if we knew they wouldn’t kill us! Open communications! Let’s hear that new Fat Boy sound!
Moe: Right o!
Captain: This is the captain of the…hang on what’s it called again? Oh I remember…”The Starship Beaverprise”. We come in peace! Do not fire on us!
On screen: A hideous blob like alien appears…( No not Mrs Chaplin)
Alien: Praise you, woooo…huh? Who the hell are you? You’re not from Brighton!
Captain: Eh?
Alien: I am the leader of the Fat Boy Slims, many call me Norman, but most of those are dead now! I understand that you want to fire on us!?!
Captain: No, I said that we didn’t want…
Norman: Then pick your weapon of choice, for we shall fight right here, right now!
Captain: But, but….
Norman: No buts about it, you better hurry otherwise you’ll be f*cking in heaven sooner than you think!
Female Alien: Norman! What the hell are you doing? I told you to stop playing with the puny earthlings and to come and take me to Love Island!
Crew: Erghhhhhhhh…
Norman: But Boe-Zall I prefer Kalifornia! And leave me alone when I’m gangster tripping!
Boe-Zall: O, Norman you rockafeller skank!
Alex: Hehe! Seems they’re having their own little private war! Let’s get out of here before they remember they were going to destroy us!
THIS EPISODE OF STARSHIP BEAVERPRISE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU FROM THE GOOD PEOPLE AT ‘ACID 8000’ – THE THIRST QUENCHING DRINK THAT GUARANTEES TO TAKE YOUR SOUL SURFING!
Paul: Who the hell was that?
Captain: Shut up!
Alex: Anyway…what were we doing before that excuse for some jokes arrived?
Captain: Err…Dunno!
B6B: Don’t look at me!
Paul: We were going to that planet, as we had to avoid the asteroids, so that we could stock up on food supplies and get some starship fuel!
Captain: Shut up!
And so the Captain of the Starship Beaverprise tied and gagged Paul, with a little help from Alex and locked him in the brig, which basically is a fancy futuristic name for a jail cell! And once they’d got rid of this mildly annoying and pretty useless officer they flew off into the sunset, without fuel or food supplies to help them. Thus running out after about 5 minutes…they crash-landed on the Planet Bangdilon and unable to find food or fuel they slaughtered both John Doe 7.2 and John Doe 7.3, ground them up and made them into starship fuel. And when it came to the food, John Doe 8 proved to be a very tasty dish indeed.
R.O.B.E. has become annoyed because he didn’t appear in this episode and so has disconnected you from the server. If you wish to destroy him in some way hit any key now.
Now you fool!
