Episode 14-A Tale Of Two Tteffumites
A Shough-Gilmour Project
Written By: Alex And Justin
Original Idea’s: Alex And Justin
Logging Into R.O.B.E…And On The 7th Day Justin Created Beaverprise
Rev. Wellie: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, body to body… I hereby lay to rest the bodies of Alvin And The Chipmunks .
Michelle: What? Isn’t this supposed to be the funeral for Alex And Justin?
Paul: Yeah, but Alex didn’t want their names mentioned…for legal reasons.
Michelle: What? When did he say that?
Paul: About 5 minutes ago…oh I mean last week, sometime.
FLASHBACK…
Moe: So what’s happening in this flashback? …I mean, funeral?
Paul: Funeral?
Moe: Yeah Alex And Justin’s!
Paul: Alex and who’s? …oh yeah, Alex doesn’t want their names mentioned for legal reasons…
Moe: Cool!
End Of Flashback…
Michelle: Awwww, I was enjoying that!
Rev. Wellie: Me too!
Paul: So what did the rest of you think?
Silence.
Clarice: Thank god those lambs have stopped screaming!
Michelle: Where the hell is everyone?
Meanwhile On The Pathetic Excuse For A Ship (Beaverprise)…
TV: Tonight on Trevor McDonald, Justin and Alex’s funeral
B6B: Ha! I’m glad it’s not us who are dead!
R.O.B.E.: Yeah! Haha!
Back On TV…
Trevor McDonald: We failed to find any friends or family of the deceased, but we managed to find a maniac off the streets who had heard of them…
Boba Muffet: Alex and Justin? They spelt black hole wrong! Backwards! Those bastards! Arrrrrgh!
He starts pulling his hair out and going insane, as men in white coats drag him away.
Trevor McDonald: Yes, indeed. In other news, Stevo has had sex. With what is yet unknown.
R.O.B.E.: Paul and Michelle have beamed back up to the ship!
Moe: Why did you say that?
R.O.B.E.: Dunno, just thought you might be interested!
B6B: Well we’re not!
R.O.B.E.: Paul and Michelle walk in
Moe: Don’t make me turn you off!
Paul: Why weren’t you at the funeral?
John Doe 42: We were watching ‘Tonight With Trevor McDonald’!
Paul: Awww, I love that guy! Why didn’t you tell us it was on?
B6B: Well why the hell did you go to the funeral?
Michelle: Oh, we had nothing better to do
Moe: That explains it!
Paul: So are we gonna pick a new captain then?
R.O.B.E.: I think Moe should be!
B6B: Cool!
Moe’s Log Star Date 14.1: So I’m the new captain of the Starship Beaverprise. Up until now I always thought the captains log was a piece of wood the captain wrote stuff down onto, how wrong I was. I’m proud to have followed in the footsteps of the previous Beaverprise captains; Beaverson, Justin and Ed. What legends they were…
Michelle: Err…what happened to Ed?
Captain: Dunno…O wait! That’s me!
Moe: So does that mean I’m not the captain any more?
Captain: Sadly, yes. You’re back on cupcake duty soldier
Moe: Bastards!
R.O.B.E.: What now?
Captain: I dunno! Lets ask Alex and Justin
On TV
Trevor McDonald: And just to reiterate, Justin and Alex are dead.
B6B: Oh crap!
Michelle: What?
B6B: I broke the TV remote control!
R.O.B.E.: Now what?
Captain: I dunno! Lets ask Justin and….oh forget it!
R.O.B.E.: We’ve got to the point where we’ve got to implement a story
Paul: Yeah! And its only taken 14 episodes!
B6B: Ha! Lets press something!
Moe: What are these?
John Doe 42: Rosemary’s stale underwear!… they’ve been there for years!
Captain: Oh, oh…so that’s what the hideous smell was!
Moe: Look, no these! (Points to the ships controls)
Paul: Some sort of controls!
Moe: What’s this one do?
Paul: That’s a heat seeking auto guided Nuclear missile!
Michelle: Weren’t all nuclear weapons banned in 2003, after America was atomised by super criminal Osma Bin Laden?
Paul: Yeah, superman tried to save the people but it was too much for the man of steel!
Moe: Cool! Sounds like fun! (Presses Button)
R.O.B.E.: Nuclear attack launched on Tteffum 5!
Captain: What have you done?
Michelle: Err I think its pretty obvious what we’ve done!
Captain: We?
B6B: Sir we are receiving a transmission from the World Beaver Federation
Meanwhile On Tteffum 5…A Young Tteffumite stands with his father looking up at the sky….
Young Tteffumite: Look Daddy, a shooting star!
They Watch In Horror As Everyone They Have Ever Known And Loved, And Their Poorly Made Shanty Town Are Turned To Dust…
Back On The Ship…
Captain: Transmission? Cool! Onscreen
Head Of World Beaver Federation: Hi!
Captain: Err…hi
Head: What the hell happened to you captain, you look different some how, I guess it’s this new substance I’ve been taking….err anyway we have carried out some secret tests on you all!
Captain: Tests?
Michelle: Secret?
R.O.B.E.: Substance?
Moe: Cheese?
Head: Yes!
Captain: How did we do?
Head: Poor.
Paul: That’s okay…yeah?
Head: No, it was the lowest result in the universe apart from some ship called the Starship Neaverskise, who’s results came back inconclusive.
B6B: So what was the real reason you called?
Head: Oh yeah, so some planet has just been obliterated only moments ago by an as of yet unknown force.
Paul: Us? I mean you? I mean…What?
Head: Anyway, there are only two survivors and we need you to rescue them as their species death rate has just increased by 10,000,000 %. The survivors will need to be transported to the nearby planet of Tteffum 6.
Captain: But how will we recognise these cuddly critters?
Head: Well, one’s a young Tteffumite and the other is his father, daddy Tteffumite!
B6B: Ha!
Head: Well I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got to go, and shouldn’t you be doing something too?
Moe: Yeah, lets get em!
Michelle: Err…aren’t we supposed to save them?
Moe: I know…I know!
Buzz Lightyear: To Tteffum 5 and beyond!
Captain: Cool! Yeah, lets follow that little guy!
R.O.B.E.: On Tteffum 5…
Paul: What? There’s nothing here?
Captain: The whole place looks like its been destroyed!
Moe: Who would do such a horrible thing?
Captain: I don’t know, but this cant be the right place, lets just go to Tteffum 6 instead
B6B: Why?
Captain: Do I have to have a reason for doing everything? Anyway it’s the closest!
R.O.B.E.: On Tteffum 7…
Captain: Whoops, wrong planet!
R.O.B.E.: On Tteffum 6…
Paul: So where are these creatures?
B6B: Look, there they are!
Paul Pulls Out A Samurai Sword…
Captain: No Paul, we’re are here to save them!
Paul: Oh sorry.
The Crew Approaches The Creatures, Who Are Obviously Not The Creatures They Were Supposed To Be Saving…
Captain: So are you a young Tteffumite and Daddy Tteffumite?
Creatures:Growl! Snarl! Roar! (cough cough) Sorry my English is a bit rusty, No were not the creatures you seek. You should probably try that planet that just got destroyed.
Captain: Yeah, whatever, that’s good enough…come on, let’s go!
Back On The Ship…
Michelle: So where are we going to keep them?
B6B: Lets put them in the cage with the Oompa Loompas!
Captain: Lets go!
At The Oompa Loompa Research Facility (Under The Stairs)…
Oompa Loompa’s: Oompa Loompa Barnivious Greatures These Look Like Carnivorous Creatures!
Captain: Shut up! We don’t pay you to sing!
Oompa Loompa: You don’t pay us at all!
Captain: Yes we do!
Oompa Loompa: Yeah but only in Euros
Captain: And what’s wrong with that?
Oompa Loompa: The Euros were abolished in 2003!
B6B: Ha!
Paul: Don’t we get paid in Euros?
They Throw The Creatures Into The Cage And Return To The Bridge…
Paul: Woo! Lets cross it!
Michelle: So what are we going to do with them Ed?
Captain: I dunno, I cant remember what the head said, and don’t call me Ed! I’m the Captain!
Paul: Wow! That nearly all rhymed!
Moe: Look lets just dump these creatures on that desolate and almost destroyed planet shall we?
R.O.B.E.: What? Tteffum 5?
Moe: Yeah that’s the one!
Captain: Sounds good! John Doe 42 And Jane Doe 13 go and get the little critters!
B6B: I can see what’ going to happen here, its still funny though!
At The Oompa Loompa Research Facility…
John Doe 42: What happened to the Oompa Loompa’s?
Jane Doe 13: I dunno but the creatures suddenly look rather well fed!
John Doe 42: We had better get them down to the bridge
They Open The Cage And Are Instantly Mauled By The Two Creatures…
John Doe 42 And Jane Doe 13:Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
On The Bridge…
Captain: Look there they are!
Moe: And one of them has got John Doe 42’s head in its mouth, how cute!
Captain: Throw them in the transporter and beam them down to Tteffum 5!
B6B: Done!
On Tteffum 5…
Young Tteffumite: Look daddy, friends!
Creature: Yes…friends!
(The Creature Rubs His Chin)
Daddy Tteffumite: Woo! Some more inhabitants for our almost destroyed planet
Creature: Yeah, so we’re gonna kill you now!
Young Tteffumite: Why?
Creature: Because that’s the whole point!
Young Tteffumite: Yeah, okay then.
R.O.B.E.: And So They Were Slaughtered, Like Lambs To The…Err Slaughter
Back On The Ship…
Captain: Well that’s another job well done!
B6B: Incoming Transmission!
Head Of The WBF: Hello again!
Captain: Arrrgh!
Head: Yeah, so the species that you tried to save is no more. It is now on the extinct list with the Dodo, the chipmunk and the French.
Captain: And what has that got to do with us?
Head: I dunno!
…Beep Beep…
B6B: Bastard! He hung up on us!
TV Flickers On…
Trevor Mcdonald:…And the kids were trampled on by a herd of buffalo! In other news, Stevo’s sexual shenanigans have proved inconclusive…
Boba Muffet Runs On…
Boba Muffet: And Episode 13 Was poor and too long! You bastards!
Two Men In White Coats Run Onto The Screen And Drag Him Away Again…
Captains Log Star Date 14.2:Though I promised big things in the latest mission of the Starship Beaverprise things didn’t go exactly to plan. Not that we knew much about it. John Doe 42 and Jane Doe 13 and the two Oompa Loompa’s have mysteriously disappeared and have yet to be accounted for. I’ve got Moe to look into who the hell destroyed that planet as we are going to hunt them down as soon as we discover their identity, and so, after everything that has happened the question still remains: Whatever happened to Justin and Alex?
Logging Out Of R.O.B.E….And On The 8th Day Alex Destroyed Beaverprise
A Shough-Gilmour Project
Written By: Alex And Justin
Original Idea’s: Alex And Justin
Logging Into R.O.B.E…And On The 7th Day Justin Created Beaverprise
Rev. Wellie: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, body to body… I hereby lay to rest the bodies of Alvin And The Chipmunks .
Michelle: What? Isn’t this supposed to be the funeral for Alex And Justin?
Paul: Yeah, but Alex didn’t want their names mentioned…for legal reasons.
Michelle: What? When did he say that?
Paul: About 5 minutes ago…oh I mean last week, sometime.
FLASHBACK…
Moe: So what’s happening in this flashback? …I mean, funeral?
Paul: Funeral?
Moe: Yeah Alex And Justin’s!
Paul: Alex and who’s? …oh yeah, Alex doesn’t want their names mentioned for legal reasons…
Moe: Cool!
End Of Flashback…
Michelle: Awwww, I was enjoying that!
Rev. Wellie: Me too!
Paul: So what did the rest of you think?
Silence.
Clarice: Thank god those lambs have stopped screaming!
Michelle: Where the hell is everyone?
Meanwhile On The Pathetic Excuse For A Ship (Beaverprise)…
TV: Tonight on Trevor McDonald, Justin and Alex’s funeral
B6B: Ha! I’m glad it’s not us who are dead!
R.O.B.E.: Yeah! Haha!
Back On TV…
Trevor McDonald: We failed to find any friends or family of the deceased, but we managed to find a maniac off the streets who had heard of them…
Boba Muffet: Alex and Justin? They spelt black hole wrong! Backwards! Those bastards! Arrrrrgh!
He starts pulling his hair out and going insane, as men in white coats drag him away.
Trevor McDonald: Yes, indeed. In other news, Stevo has had sex. With what is yet unknown.
R.O.B.E.: Paul and Michelle have beamed back up to the ship!
Moe: Why did you say that?
R.O.B.E.: Dunno, just thought you might be interested!
B6B: Well we’re not!
R.O.B.E.: Paul and Michelle walk in
Moe: Don’t make me turn you off!
Paul: Why weren’t you at the funeral?
John Doe 42: We were watching ‘Tonight With Trevor McDonald’!
Paul: Awww, I love that guy! Why didn’t you tell us it was on?
B6B: Well why the hell did you go to the funeral?
Michelle: Oh, we had nothing better to do
Moe: That explains it!
Paul: So are we gonna pick a new captain then?
R.O.B.E.: I think Moe should be!
B6B: Cool!
Moe’s Log Star Date 14.1: So I’m the new captain of the Starship Beaverprise. Up until now I always thought the captains log was a piece of wood the captain wrote stuff down onto, how wrong I was. I’m proud to have followed in the footsteps of the previous Beaverprise captains; Beaverson, Justin and Ed. What legends they were…
Michelle: Err…what happened to Ed?
Captain: Dunno…O wait! That’s me!
Moe: So does that mean I’m not the captain any more?
Captain: Sadly, yes. You’re back on cupcake duty soldier
Moe: Bastards!
R.O.B.E.: What now?
Captain: I dunno! Lets ask Alex and Justin
On TV
Trevor McDonald: And just to reiterate, Justin and Alex are dead.
B6B: Oh crap!
Michelle: What?
B6B: I broke the TV remote control!
R.O.B.E.: Now what?
Captain: I dunno! Lets ask Justin and….oh forget it!
R.O.B.E.: We’ve got to the point where we’ve got to implement a story
Paul: Yeah! And its only taken 14 episodes!
B6B: Ha! Lets press something!
Moe: What are these?
John Doe 42: Rosemary’s stale underwear!… they’ve been there for years!
Captain: Oh, oh…so that’s what the hideous smell was!
Moe: Look, no these! (Points to the ships controls)
Paul: Some sort of controls!
Moe: What’s this one do?
Paul: That’s a heat seeking auto guided Nuclear missile!
Michelle: Weren’t all nuclear weapons banned in 2003, after America was atomised by super criminal Osma Bin Laden?
Paul: Yeah, superman tried to save the people but it was too much for the man of steel!
Moe: Cool! Sounds like fun! (Presses Button)
R.O.B.E.: Nuclear attack launched on Tteffum 5!
Captain: What have you done?
Michelle: Err I think its pretty obvious what we’ve done!
Captain: We?
B6B: Sir we are receiving a transmission from the World Beaver Federation
Meanwhile On Tteffum 5…A Young Tteffumite stands with his father looking up at the sky….
Young Tteffumite: Look Daddy, a shooting star!
They Watch In Horror As Everyone They Have Ever Known And Loved, And Their Poorly Made Shanty Town Are Turned To Dust…
Back On The Ship…
Captain: Transmission? Cool! Onscreen
Head Of World Beaver Federation: Hi!
Captain: Err…hi
Head: What the hell happened to you captain, you look different some how, I guess it’s this new substance I’ve been taking….err anyway we have carried out some secret tests on you all!
Captain: Tests?
Michelle: Secret?
R.O.B.E.: Substance?
Moe: Cheese?
Head: Yes!
Captain: How did we do?
Head: Poor.
Paul: That’s okay…yeah?
Head: No, it was the lowest result in the universe apart from some ship called the Starship Neaverskise, who’s results came back inconclusive.
B6B: So what was the real reason you called?
Head: Oh yeah, so some planet has just been obliterated only moments ago by an as of yet unknown force.
Paul: Us? I mean you? I mean…What?
Head: Anyway, there are only two survivors and we need you to rescue them as their species death rate has just increased by 10,000,000 %. The survivors will need to be transported to the nearby planet of Tteffum 6.
Captain: But how will we recognise these cuddly critters?
Head: Well, one’s a young Tteffumite and the other is his father, daddy Tteffumite!
B6B: Ha!
Head: Well I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got to go, and shouldn’t you be doing something too?
Moe: Yeah, lets get em!
Michelle: Err…aren’t we supposed to save them?
Moe: I know…I know!
Buzz Lightyear: To Tteffum 5 and beyond!
Captain: Cool! Yeah, lets follow that little guy!
R.O.B.E.: On Tteffum 5…
Paul: What? There’s nothing here?
Captain: The whole place looks like its been destroyed!
Moe: Who would do such a horrible thing?
Captain: I don’t know, but this cant be the right place, lets just go to Tteffum 6 instead
B6B: Why?
Captain: Do I have to have a reason for doing everything? Anyway it’s the closest!
R.O.B.E.: On Tteffum 7…
Captain: Whoops, wrong planet!
R.O.B.E.: On Tteffum 6…
Paul: So where are these creatures?
B6B: Look, there they are!
Paul Pulls Out A Samurai Sword…
Captain: No Paul, we’re are here to save them!
Paul: Oh sorry.
The Crew Approaches The Creatures, Who Are Obviously Not The Creatures They Were Supposed To Be Saving…
Captain: So are you a young Tteffumite and Daddy Tteffumite?
Creatures:Growl! Snarl! Roar! (cough cough) Sorry my English is a bit rusty, No were not the creatures you seek. You should probably try that planet that just got destroyed.
Captain: Yeah, whatever, that’s good enough…come on, let’s go!
Back On The Ship…
Michelle: So where are we going to keep them?
B6B: Lets put them in the cage with the Oompa Loompas!
Captain: Lets go!
At The Oompa Loompa Research Facility (Under The Stairs)…
Oompa Loompa’s: Oompa Loompa Barnivious Greatures These Look Like Carnivorous Creatures!
Captain: Shut up! We don’t pay you to sing!
Oompa Loompa: You don’t pay us at all!
Captain: Yes we do!
Oompa Loompa: Yeah but only in Euros
Captain: And what’s wrong with that?
Oompa Loompa: The Euros were abolished in 2003!
B6B: Ha!
Paul: Don’t we get paid in Euros?
They Throw The Creatures Into The Cage And Return To The Bridge…
Paul: Woo! Lets cross it!
Michelle: So what are we going to do with them Ed?
Captain: I dunno, I cant remember what the head said, and don’t call me Ed! I’m the Captain!
Paul: Wow! That nearly all rhymed!
Moe: Look lets just dump these creatures on that desolate and almost destroyed planet shall we?
R.O.B.E.: What? Tteffum 5?
Moe: Yeah that’s the one!
Captain: Sounds good! John Doe 42 And Jane Doe 13 go and get the little critters!
B6B: I can see what’ going to happen here, its still funny though!
At The Oompa Loompa Research Facility…
John Doe 42: What happened to the Oompa Loompa’s?
Jane Doe 13: I dunno but the creatures suddenly look rather well fed!
John Doe 42: We had better get them down to the bridge
They Open The Cage And Are Instantly Mauled By The Two Creatures…
John Doe 42 And Jane Doe 13:Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
On The Bridge…
Captain: Look there they are!
Moe: And one of them has got John Doe 42’s head in its mouth, how cute!
Captain: Throw them in the transporter and beam them down to Tteffum 5!
B6B: Done!
On Tteffum 5…
Young Tteffumite: Look daddy, friends!
Creature: Yes…friends!
(The Creature Rubs His Chin)
Daddy Tteffumite: Woo! Some more inhabitants for our almost destroyed planet
Creature: Yeah, so we’re gonna kill you now!
Young Tteffumite: Why?
Creature: Because that’s the whole point!
Young Tteffumite: Yeah, okay then.
R.O.B.E.: And So They Were Slaughtered, Like Lambs To The…Err Slaughter
Back On The Ship…
Captain: Well that’s another job well done!
B6B: Incoming Transmission!
Head Of The WBF: Hello again!
Captain: Arrrgh!
Head: Yeah, so the species that you tried to save is no more. It is now on the extinct list with the Dodo, the chipmunk and the French.
Captain: And what has that got to do with us?
Head: I dunno!
…Beep Beep…
B6B: Bastard! He hung up on us!
TV Flickers On…
Trevor Mcdonald:…And the kids were trampled on by a herd of buffalo! In other news, Stevo’s sexual shenanigans have proved inconclusive…
Boba Muffet Runs On…
Boba Muffet: And Episode 13 Was poor and too long! You bastards!
Two Men In White Coats Run Onto The Screen And Drag Him Away Again…
Captains Log Star Date 14.2:Though I promised big things in the latest mission of the Starship Beaverprise things didn’t go exactly to plan. Not that we knew much about it. John Doe 42 and Jane Doe 13 and the two Oompa Loompa’s have mysteriously disappeared and have yet to be accounted for. I’ve got Moe to look into who the hell destroyed that planet as we are going to hunt them down as soon as we discover their identity, and so, after everything that has happened the question still remains: Whatever happened to Justin and Alex?
Logging Out Of R.O.B.E….And On The 8th Day Alex Destroyed Beaverprise
