Episode 5 Part 2-The One That Was, Then Wasn't
Written By Justin Shough
Guest Appearances By;
Edward Sadler as Ed, And many more!
Logging into R.O.B.E…A Beaver A Day Helps You Work, Rest And Play
Previously On 24, I mean…Beaverprise:
Scroll Down You Fool!
Logged In As R.O.B.E Friend No.1
Captain: Where the hell are we?
Alex: Stop saying that, I don’t know
Moe: Is everybody here? More to the point…is everybody ok?
Captain: Moe, Michelle, Paul and John Doe the great are unconscious, Alex have you got the life meter gauge thing?
Alex: Yeah I just happen to have it! Here goes….
Alex checks for vital signs on Moe, B6B, Michelle, Paul and John
|Alex: Good, Moe is ok
Alex: Ok Michelle and B6B are fine
Captain: Purr. Err to Michelle…Not B6B!
Alex: Oh no! Paul’s dead!
Captain: Really?
Alex: No just kidding
Captain: Dam, I mean…Good
Alex: Ed is ok…
Captain: Ok
Alex: Oh God no, John Doe (the great) is dead!
Captain: Good everyone that matters is ok…wait a second, who’s Ed?
Ed: Hi, I am Ed
Michelle: hey, how you doing?
Ed: Good, and your self?
Michelle: Good
John Doe (the not so great): Oh just shut up you too, I love you Michelle why must you brake my heart and love Ed whoever the hell he is?
Michelle: Nobody said I loved him, yet
John Doe (the not so great): Yet? God no! You will have my heart forever my love…
(John Doe rips out his still beating heart and throws it at Michelle, except it misses her and hits Alex who throws it back at him…John Doe falls off the edge off the cliff and on to a cactus below)
Alex: Where the hell did that cliff come from? And that cactus? And this desert? Where the hell are we?
Ed: Hmmm suspicious
Alex: Stop stealing my lines, I wrote Episode2 and helped with Episode4 why don’t people give me more credit?
Captain: Alex, stop gibbering!
Alex: Sorry captain, its just the heat from the sun, I feel faint
(Alex falls down dead…then realises its John Doe 20 that should have died so he gets up again and throws John Doe 20 off the cliff)
Captain: Lets hope all the unpleasantness is behind us…not literally of course that would be terrible. Oh forget it
Captains Log star date 5.2: Well we have been on this unknown planet populated by us and some cactus we found…oh and Ed, we still are unsure of who Ed really is he has a strange marking on his forehead “H” I’m treating him as our enemy at the moment despite the fact Michelle has made him very welcome…
Alex: Sir, who are you talking to?
Captain: R.O.B.E! Oh wait. R.O.B.E isn’t here, shi…look you just write it down ok
Alex: yeah whatever.
Captain: I think we should explore this strange place, Ed I guess you can lead the way, then if anything evil is lurking ahead it will kill you and we can get away.
Ed: Ok!
Captain: Oh god no! What’s that?
(Captain Hides under a rock)
Ed: A cactus
Captain: Err yes, good work!
Paul: Hey look over there, there’s some mad scientist with really long white hair on a train, God no! Here’s going to go over the cliff!
John Doe 21: What? The train disappeared just before they got to the edge!
Ed: hmm Suspicious
Alex: Stop that!
Captain: The plot isn’t going anywhere, when is something going to happen?
Alex: Something’s happening!
Captain: Its gone dark
Paul: Open your eyes…
Paul: Oh wait, it has gone dark
Alex: I think were being transported somewhere else, maybe our ship.
Captain: Thank God that’s over, everybody ok?
Alex: John Doe 21 didn’t make it sir
Captain: This is truly a sad day, anyway who’s hungry, I am!
Alex: Moe are you okay? I just realised you haven’t said a thing so far
Moe: I’m okay thanks, and don’t worry I’m just not as important as the other characters so I don’t get as many lines…I mean talk as much!
Alex: Well okay then!
Captain: Well where are we now?
Alex: This looks very familiar, I think were on Earth!
Captain: That smell, those humans, that McDonalds restaurant we are home!
Alex: Don’t count your chickens till they are hatched!
Paul: Where are the chickens?
Captain: This is wonderful we are home again we can do all the things we used to like…
Alex: It’s happening again Sir we are being transported
Captain: Bastards!
Moe: This is turning into an episode of Quantum Leap, well except that annoying hologram Al, Ed is a little like him don’t you…
(Crew gets transported again)
Captain: this is quite fun once you get used to it, it wouldn’t make much of a story though. Thank God it will never be told.
Alex: it appears this time we are in some sort of a shanty town sir.
Captain: Shanty town ay, who’s that man over there? He’s walking towards us act normal!
Indian Chief: Hello, I am Peter Greeves I am the Chief of this town.
Alex: Well that’s interesting…
Indian Chief: You are welcome to stay in our shelter, drink our clean water and eat our only food we have left.
Alex: Ok!
Captain: Where are those two going?
Alex: Michelle and Ed?
Captain: yes!
Alex: I dont know sir, Michelle said something about a reception, suits and a drunk Vicar
Captain: oh...
Captain: Listen to the chief take everything you can, bleed them dry, Mwahahaha
As The Crew were consuming every last item the tribe had and Michelle and Ed had returned from wherever they had been they were once again transported…
Captain: As it turned out Michelle and Ed had got "married" or at least thats what they said.
Alex: Hey we are we now?
Paul: My god those fools have sent us to Disney Land! Woo-hoo! We can have the times of our life.
Ed: Oh God, Oh No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
Captain: What, what??
Ed: This isn’t Disney land Florida its Disney Land Paris, we may as well be dead!
Crew: NOOOOOOOO
Ed: This day will live in infamy
B6B: Wait its happening again!
Captain: Thank God were saved!
Captain: Wow this is the best place yet! Its hot, there’s a beach and 100’s of women dancing around wearing only grass skirts, hubba hubba
B6B: Yeah this is great!
Alex: Yeah look there’s even some Pygmies over there!
Captain: Pygmies what are pygmies? Are they friendly?
Paul: Pigeons?
Alex: They are cannibals!
Captain: So…Not as friendly as I hoped then
Alex: May I suggest something?
Captain: Suggest away…
Alex: Well the cannibals appear to be running towards us at an alarming rate with spears and rudimentary swords. I suggest we run away from them
Captain: Rudimentary, I love that word, I mean yes lets run!
The crew started running away from the cannibals John Doe 22 fell over and was dragged back to their lair, presumably to be eaten. As the other crew members were running away there were once again transported, this time back to their ship.
Captain: Where are we?
R.O.B.E.-Hello
Alex: R.O.B.E. is here, so we must be in hell.
Paul: Were back, were finally back!
Captain: And were in the Holodeck!
Alex: Oh no, your joking aren’t you? All that was just a simulation?
B6B: Of course! That explains the tea bags!
R.O.B.E- Yes, yes it was, I was instructed to give you an intense training mission in the Holodeck which would test you to the limit, it was designed to give you a better understanding of each other and to work better as a team. There was however a problem with the system, it had not been tested before you see that’s why the Disney Land incident occurred, thankfully that was the only problem.
Captain: What about Ed?
R.O.B.E- Oh, okay so there were two problems…
Ed: I’m not a problem!
R.O.B.E- it appears Ed is a fragment of reality and a fragment of virtual reality this makes him a Hologram, usually Holograms can pass through other objects but Ed seems to be made up of hard light cells making him almost human, except from that “H” symbol on his head of course.
Captain: Is there a chance that Ed may fade away?
R.O.B.E- it now appears unlikely Captain, I think you are stuck with him
Alex: Oh great… I mean Oh great!!
Captain: R.O.B.E. Ed and Michelle got married while in the holodeck, is this legal and will it even stand?
R.O.B.E.- Et hem…Yes it is legal, it was made legal two years ago by someone called Ross Futter. But sadly no it will not stand and they are not officially married.
However fear not, when the fools at NASA programmed me they gave me the ability to marry people.
Ed: Can you do it now?
R.O.B.E- Your eager, well very well… by the power infested…in me I pronounce you Man and Woman, I mean Husband and Wife.
Ed: Woo
Ed’s log Star Date Unknown: Well today has been…
Captain: You don’t get to do that!
Captain: R.O.B.E, the things that happened in the Holodeck, we lost a couple of lives will they stay dead or did it not actually happen
R.O.B.E- Sorry captain, any deaths that happen in the Holodeck stay that way its something to do with the body not being able to live without the brain, I don’t know, watch the matrix!
Captains Log Star Date 5.3: Well despite the fact everything that happened including that incident with that ship didn’t actually happen err means that nothing happened! But I’m sure we all learnt something from it…we probably didn’t though, well Ed has been officially added to our crew I am worried though because if any more mugs get broken not everyone will be able to drink cups of tea and coffee. But the show must go on…
Logging Out Of R.O.B.E...
R.O.B.E-Ensuring A safer Future For Your Children's, Children's Children.
Written By Justin Shough
Guest Appearances By;
Edward Sadler as Ed, And many more!
Logging into R.O.B.E…A Beaver A Day Helps You Work, Rest And Play
Previously On 24, I mean…Beaverprise:
Scroll Down You Fool!
Logged In As R.O.B.E Friend No.1
Captain: Where the hell are we?
Alex: Stop saying that, I don’t know
Moe: Is everybody here? More to the point…is everybody ok?
Captain: Moe, Michelle, Paul and John Doe the great are unconscious, Alex have you got the life meter gauge thing?
Alex: Yeah I just happen to have it! Here goes….
Alex checks for vital signs on Moe, B6B, Michelle, Paul and John
|Alex: Good, Moe is ok
Alex: Ok Michelle and B6B are fine
Captain: Purr. Err to Michelle…Not B6B!
Alex: Oh no! Paul’s dead!
Captain: Really?
Alex: No just kidding
Captain: Dam, I mean…Good
Alex: Ed is ok…
Captain: Ok
Alex: Oh God no, John Doe (the great) is dead!
Captain: Good everyone that matters is ok…wait a second, who’s Ed?
Ed: Hi, I am Ed
Michelle: hey, how you doing?
Ed: Good, and your self?
Michelle: Good
John Doe (the not so great): Oh just shut up you too, I love you Michelle why must you brake my heart and love Ed whoever the hell he is?
Michelle: Nobody said I loved him, yet
John Doe (the not so great): Yet? God no! You will have my heart forever my love…
(John Doe rips out his still beating heart and throws it at Michelle, except it misses her and hits Alex who throws it back at him…John Doe falls off the edge off the cliff and on to a cactus below)
Alex: Where the hell did that cliff come from? And that cactus? And this desert? Where the hell are we?
Ed: Hmmm suspicious
Alex: Stop stealing my lines, I wrote Episode2 and helped with Episode4 why don’t people give me more credit?
Captain: Alex, stop gibbering!
Alex: Sorry captain, its just the heat from the sun, I feel faint
(Alex falls down dead…then realises its John Doe 20 that should have died so he gets up again and throws John Doe 20 off the cliff)
Captain: Lets hope all the unpleasantness is behind us…not literally of course that would be terrible. Oh forget it
Captains Log star date 5.2: Well we have been on this unknown planet populated by us and some cactus we found…oh and Ed, we still are unsure of who Ed really is he has a strange marking on his forehead “H” I’m treating him as our enemy at the moment despite the fact Michelle has made him very welcome…
Alex: Sir, who are you talking to?
Captain: R.O.B.E! Oh wait. R.O.B.E isn’t here, shi…look you just write it down ok
Alex: yeah whatever.
Captain: I think we should explore this strange place, Ed I guess you can lead the way, then if anything evil is lurking ahead it will kill you and we can get away.
Ed: Ok!
Captain: Oh god no! What’s that?
(Captain Hides under a rock)
Ed: A cactus
Captain: Err yes, good work!
Paul: Hey look over there, there’s some mad scientist with really long white hair on a train, God no! Here’s going to go over the cliff!
John Doe 21: What? The train disappeared just before they got to the edge!
Ed: hmm Suspicious
Alex: Stop that!
Captain: The plot isn’t going anywhere, when is something going to happen?
Alex: Something’s happening!
Captain: Its gone dark
Paul: Open your eyes…
Paul: Oh wait, it has gone dark
Alex: I think were being transported somewhere else, maybe our ship.
Captain: Thank God that’s over, everybody ok?
Alex: John Doe 21 didn’t make it sir
Captain: This is truly a sad day, anyway who’s hungry, I am!
Alex: Moe are you okay? I just realised you haven’t said a thing so far
Moe: I’m okay thanks, and don’t worry I’m just not as important as the other characters so I don’t get as many lines…I mean talk as much!
Alex: Well okay then!
Captain: Well where are we now?
Alex: This looks very familiar, I think were on Earth!
Captain: That smell, those humans, that McDonalds restaurant we are home!
Alex: Don’t count your chickens till they are hatched!
Paul: Where are the chickens?
Captain: This is wonderful we are home again we can do all the things we used to like…
Alex: It’s happening again Sir we are being transported
Captain: Bastards!
Moe: This is turning into an episode of Quantum Leap, well except that annoying hologram Al, Ed is a little like him don’t you…
(Crew gets transported again)
Captain: this is quite fun once you get used to it, it wouldn’t make much of a story though. Thank God it will never be told.
Alex: it appears this time we are in some sort of a shanty town sir.
Captain: Shanty town ay, who’s that man over there? He’s walking towards us act normal!
Indian Chief: Hello, I am Peter Greeves I am the Chief of this town.
Alex: Well that’s interesting…
Indian Chief: You are welcome to stay in our shelter, drink our clean water and eat our only food we have left.
Alex: Ok!
Captain: Where are those two going?
Alex: Michelle and Ed?
Captain: yes!
Alex: I dont know sir, Michelle said something about a reception, suits and a drunk Vicar
Captain: oh...
Captain: Listen to the chief take everything you can, bleed them dry, Mwahahaha
As The Crew were consuming every last item the tribe had and Michelle and Ed had returned from wherever they had been they were once again transported…
Captain: As it turned out Michelle and Ed had got "married" or at least thats what they said.
Alex: Hey we are we now?
Paul: My god those fools have sent us to Disney Land! Woo-hoo! We can have the times of our life.
Ed: Oh God, Oh No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
Captain: What, what??
Ed: This isn’t Disney land Florida its Disney Land Paris, we may as well be dead!
Crew: NOOOOOOOO
Ed: This day will live in infamy
B6B: Wait its happening again!
Captain: Thank God were saved!
Captain: Wow this is the best place yet! Its hot, there’s a beach and 100’s of women dancing around wearing only grass skirts, hubba hubba
B6B: Yeah this is great!
Alex: Yeah look there’s even some Pygmies over there!
Captain: Pygmies what are pygmies? Are they friendly?
Paul: Pigeons?
Alex: They are cannibals!
Captain: So…Not as friendly as I hoped then
Alex: May I suggest something?
Captain: Suggest away…
Alex: Well the cannibals appear to be running towards us at an alarming rate with spears and rudimentary swords. I suggest we run away from them
Captain: Rudimentary, I love that word, I mean yes lets run!
The crew started running away from the cannibals John Doe 22 fell over and was dragged back to their lair, presumably to be eaten. As the other crew members were running away there were once again transported, this time back to their ship.
Captain: Where are we?
R.O.B.E.-Hello
Alex: R.O.B.E. is here, so we must be in hell.
Paul: Were back, were finally back!
Captain: And were in the Holodeck!
Alex: Oh no, your joking aren’t you? All that was just a simulation?
B6B: Of course! That explains the tea bags!
R.O.B.E- Yes, yes it was, I was instructed to give you an intense training mission in the Holodeck which would test you to the limit, it was designed to give you a better understanding of each other and to work better as a team. There was however a problem with the system, it had not been tested before you see that’s why the Disney Land incident occurred, thankfully that was the only problem.
Captain: What about Ed?
R.O.B.E- Oh, okay so there were two problems…
Ed: I’m not a problem!
R.O.B.E- it appears Ed is a fragment of reality and a fragment of virtual reality this makes him a Hologram, usually Holograms can pass through other objects but Ed seems to be made up of hard light cells making him almost human, except from that “H” symbol on his head of course.
Captain: Is there a chance that Ed may fade away?
R.O.B.E- it now appears unlikely Captain, I think you are stuck with him
Alex: Oh great… I mean Oh great!!
Captain: R.O.B.E. Ed and Michelle got married while in the holodeck, is this legal and will it even stand?
R.O.B.E.- Et hem…Yes it is legal, it was made legal two years ago by someone called Ross Futter. But sadly no it will not stand and they are not officially married.
However fear not, when the fools at NASA programmed me they gave me the ability to marry people.
Ed: Can you do it now?
R.O.B.E- Your eager, well very well… by the power infested…in me I pronounce you Man and Woman, I mean Husband and Wife.
Ed: Woo
Ed’s log Star Date Unknown: Well today has been…
Captain: You don’t get to do that!
Captain: R.O.B.E, the things that happened in the Holodeck, we lost a couple of lives will they stay dead or did it not actually happen
R.O.B.E- Sorry captain, any deaths that happen in the Holodeck stay that way its something to do with the body not being able to live without the brain, I don’t know, watch the matrix!
Captains Log Star Date 5.3: Well despite the fact everything that happened including that incident with that ship didn’t actually happen err means that nothing happened! But I’m sure we all learnt something from it…we probably didn’t though, well Ed has been officially added to our crew I am worried though because if any more mugs get broken not everyone will be able to drink cups of tea and coffee. But the show must go on…
Logging Out Of R.O.B.E...
R.O.B.E-Ensuring A safer Future For Your Children's, Children's Children.
