Previously on Beaverprise…
Paul: Midnight, eh? Shouldn’t we be asleep?
Alex: Probably. But time has no relevance in where we travel or what we do, so is it merely another hour of another day, or….
Transmission: Yeah, so anyway an attempt has been made on the Leader of the World Beaver Federation’s life and I thought you’d know something about it!
Captain: You had better ask Paul, he usually deals with these matters.
Transmission: I suppose a couple of you could come down here and take a look into what happened!
Captain: R.O.B.E. get ready to launch a pod for me and Alex to escape in…I mean visit the WBF in.
Jack Beaver, Jr: Dear God I’m going down a ladder!
Alex And Captain: Noooooooo!
The following takes place between 1am and 2am on the day of the California Presidential Primary, which has nothing to do with what you are about to read what so ever!
01:00:00
Alex and Captain: Nooooooo! You got a six, that means you’re going up the snake you fool!
Jack Beaver, Jr: Oh yeah! Kinda scared myself for a moment there!
Bloke walks in…
Bloke: Sorry to interrupt your little game, but I have a message for the Captain of the Starship Beaverprise.
Captain: That’s me!
Alex: Obviously!
Captain: It’s from Jack Beaver! Could it be a message from beyond the grave?
Bloke: No, if you look closely it’s dated last week!
Alex: Last week? How did he know?
Bloke: He always knew!
Alex: So how come he died? Shouldn’t he have known about that too!?!
Bloke: We all make mistakes.
Captain: He says we have to go to Dreyson 5 and meet a secret informant who can give us information on the attack.
Alex: What attack?
Captain: You know, the one that happened merely 15 minutes ago!
Alex: What? That was last week!
Captain: Shhhh! This is in real time you fool!
Alex: So where is the WBF Leader then?
Captain: Who?
Alex: The one who’s life is at stake!
Captain: Sorry, forgot about that! Seems like weeks since we were informed of these facts.
Alex: So where is he then?
Bloke: He’s resting at present! You can talk to his black “family” if you like!
Captain: Family? Nah!
Alex: We’d better be going then.
Bloke: Yeah let’s go!
Captain: Err….No! You’d better stay here with Jack Beaver, Jr.
Jack Beaver, Jr: But what about our game? Our beautiful game!?!
Captain: If it meant as much to you as it did to me then we’ll finish it later!
Jack Beaver, Jr: I’ll hold you to that!
01:17:09
The Captain and Alex board the pod to begin their journey to Dreyson 5.
Captain: So I can’t think of anything legendary to say right now!
Alex: Me neither, dammit!
01:19:32
Meanwhile on the Starship Beaverprise…
Ed: So, what monumental decisions will I have to make as temporary Captain today?
B6B: We’re receiving a voice only transmission from an unmarked ship!
Ed: Let’s hear it then!
Transmission: Permission to come aboard my chocolate coated friend.
Ed: Well I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers, but what the hell!
Moe: What are they? Cheapskates? Don’t they have video conferencing capabilities?
A shadowy figure beams aboard the ship wearing a mask of a famous 20th Century President.
Paul: Oh wow! It’s Bill Clinton!
Michelle: And he’s brought Monica Lewinski with him!
Monica Lewinski Masked Person: (gruff voice) Err…yeah!
Ed: So, how’s it going?
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Actually, this is a hold up!
Paul: You want money? We have money!
Bill Clinton Masked Person: No! We’re here to kidnap Michelle and one crew member of your choice.
R.O.B.E: Oh, so that’s why you’ve got guns!
Michelle: Me? Why is it always me?
Monica Lewinski Masked Person: (gruff voice) Because women always come first and you’re the only one!
Jane Doe 14: What about me?
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Nah, you’re poor!
Jane Doe 14: Can I be the other person then?
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Sorry, John Doe 46 asked first!
Ed: Well seeing as we have no choice you might as well take them!
Michelle: What? Aren’t you supposed to be my husband!
Ed: Oh right, yeah….(to masked bloke) You bastard…You might as well take them….Damn you!
B6B: That’s nice acting, Ed!
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Beam us up, Moe!
Moe: Sure thing! See you later!
The two masked people beam back to their ship with Michelle and John Doe 46.
Paul: So I wonder why they wanted them.
Ed: You fool! Why didn’t you say that whilst they were still on the ship!?!
B6B: It doesn’t matter, it’s not important yet!
R.O.B.E: So what are we going to do now?
Ed: We’d better head to the WBF Headquarters and inform the Captain of what has taken place!
Moe: Wouldn’t it make more sense if we followed that ship?
Ed: Nah, they’re long gone!
B6B: Actually they’re still in the docking bay.
Moe: Quick let’s blow their ship up!
Ed: But Michelle and John Doe 46 are on there.
Moe: (thinks) Yeah, let’s blow them up!
Ed: R.O.B.E. ready a pod for us, so we can make our way to the WBF Headquarters!
01:42:00
Paul: Woo! We stopped the clock at exactly 00 seconds!
B6B: Yeah, good one!
R.O.B.E: The pod’s ready, Ed!
Jane Doe 14: So who’s going on this legendary expedition?
Ed: Well, not you for a start!
Jane Doe 14: You bastard! I hate you, and B6B and Paul! You should get the chair!
Ed: B6B and Paul, huh? Well they might as well come along seeing as I can’t decide which of you annoying crew members should come with me!
B6B: Woo! Let’s go!
01:46:18
The Captain and Alex are travelling in their pod to Dreyson 5
Alex: So have you thought of anything to say yet?
Captain: Yeah, do you remember when we “died”?
Alex: What? You idiot! We did that already!
Captain: Oh yeah. No then.
01:47:59
Ed: So what now?
R.O.B.E: Shouldn’t you have gone already? If this is in real time, I mean!
Paul: Yeah, but I wanted to hear what they were going to say!
Beaver-man: What? That makes no sense!
Ed: I almost forgot. Somebody needs to be left in charge of the ship!
Jane Doe 14: What about me? I could be the first woman captain of the Starship Beaverprise. Leading it into a new era of equal opportunities!
Ed: Nah! We’ll have a game of Jenga to decide!
01:58:58
Ed, Paul and B6B enter the pod.
Ed: Well after 100 games of Jenga, of which I won 99 and Jane Doe 14 won 1, I hereby pronounce the new Captain of the Starship Beaverprise to be…Moe!
The pod door begins to slide shut.
Moe: Mooowhahahahahahahaa!
The door closes completely and the pod is jettisoned into space.
01:59:57…01:59:58…01:59:59
02:00:00
Paul: Midnight, eh? Shouldn’t we be asleep?
Alex: Probably. But time has no relevance in where we travel or what we do, so is it merely another hour of another day, or….
Transmission: Yeah, so anyway an attempt has been made on the Leader of the World Beaver Federation’s life and I thought you’d know something about it!
Captain: You had better ask Paul, he usually deals with these matters.
Transmission: I suppose a couple of you could come down here and take a look into what happened!
Captain: R.O.B.E. get ready to launch a pod for me and Alex to escape in…I mean visit the WBF in.
Jack Beaver, Jr: Dear God I’m going down a ladder!
Alex And Captain: Noooooooo!
The following takes place between 1am and 2am on the day of the California Presidential Primary, which has nothing to do with what you are about to read what so ever!
01:00:00
Alex and Captain: Nooooooo! You got a six, that means you’re going up the snake you fool!
Jack Beaver, Jr: Oh yeah! Kinda scared myself for a moment there!
Bloke walks in…
Bloke: Sorry to interrupt your little game, but I have a message for the Captain of the Starship Beaverprise.
Captain: That’s me!
Alex: Obviously!
Captain: It’s from Jack Beaver! Could it be a message from beyond the grave?
Bloke: No, if you look closely it’s dated last week!
Alex: Last week? How did he know?
Bloke: He always knew!
Alex: So how come he died? Shouldn’t he have known about that too!?!
Bloke: We all make mistakes.
Captain: He says we have to go to Dreyson 5 and meet a secret informant who can give us information on the attack.
Alex: What attack?
Captain: You know, the one that happened merely 15 minutes ago!
Alex: What? That was last week!
Captain: Shhhh! This is in real time you fool!
Alex: So where is the WBF Leader then?
Captain: Who?
Alex: The one who’s life is at stake!
Captain: Sorry, forgot about that! Seems like weeks since we were informed of these facts.
Alex: So where is he then?
Bloke: He’s resting at present! You can talk to his black “family” if you like!
Captain: Family? Nah!
Alex: We’d better be going then.
Bloke: Yeah let’s go!
Captain: Err….No! You’d better stay here with Jack Beaver, Jr.
Jack Beaver, Jr: But what about our game? Our beautiful game!?!
Captain: If it meant as much to you as it did to me then we’ll finish it later!
Jack Beaver, Jr: I’ll hold you to that!
01:17:09
The Captain and Alex board the pod to begin their journey to Dreyson 5.
Captain: So I can’t think of anything legendary to say right now!
Alex: Me neither, dammit!
01:19:32
Meanwhile on the Starship Beaverprise…
Ed: So, what monumental decisions will I have to make as temporary Captain today?
B6B: We’re receiving a voice only transmission from an unmarked ship!
Ed: Let’s hear it then!
Transmission: Permission to come aboard my chocolate coated friend.
Ed: Well I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers, but what the hell!
Moe: What are they? Cheapskates? Don’t they have video conferencing capabilities?
A shadowy figure beams aboard the ship wearing a mask of a famous 20th Century President.
Paul: Oh wow! It’s Bill Clinton!
Michelle: And he’s brought Monica Lewinski with him!
Monica Lewinski Masked Person: (gruff voice) Err…yeah!
Ed: So, how’s it going?
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Actually, this is a hold up!
Paul: You want money? We have money!
Bill Clinton Masked Person: No! We’re here to kidnap Michelle and one crew member of your choice.
R.O.B.E: Oh, so that’s why you’ve got guns!
Michelle: Me? Why is it always me?
Monica Lewinski Masked Person: (gruff voice) Because women always come first and you’re the only one!
Jane Doe 14: What about me?
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Nah, you’re poor!
Jane Doe 14: Can I be the other person then?
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Sorry, John Doe 46 asked first!
Ed: Well seeing as we have no choice you might as well take them!
Michelle: What? Aren’t you supposed to be my husband!
Ed: Oh right, yeah….(to masked bloke) You bastard…You might as well take them….Damn you!
B6B: That’s nice acting, Ed!
Bill Clinton Masked Person: Beam us up, Moe!
Moe: Sure thing! See you later!
The two masked people beam back to their ship with Michelle and John Doe 46.
Paul: So I wonder why they wanted them.
Ed: You fool! Why didn’t you say that whilst they were still on the ship!?!
B6B: It doesn’t matter, it’s not important yet!
R.O.B.E: So what are we going to do now?
Ed: We’d better head to the WBF Headquarters and inform the Captain of what has taken place!
Moe: Wouldn’t it make more sense if we followed that ship?
Ed: Nah, they’re long gone!
B6B: Actually they’re still in the docking bay.
Moe: Quick let’s blow their ship up!
Ed: But Michelle and John Doe 46 are on there.
Moe: (thinks) Yeah, let’s blow them up!
Ed: R.O.B.E. ready a pod for us, so we can make our way to the WBF Headquarters!
01:42:00
Paul: Woo! We stopped the clock at exactly 00 seconds!
B6B: Yeah, good one!
R.O.B.E: The pod’s ready, Ed!
Jane Doe 14: So who’s going on this legendary expedition?
Ed: Well, not you for a start!
Jane Doe 14: You bastard! I hate you, and B6B and Paul! You should get the chair!
Ed: B6B and Paul, huh? Well they might as well come along seeing as I can’t decide which of you annoying crew members should come with me!
B6B: Woo! Let’s go!
01:46:18
The Captain and Alex are travelling in their pod to Dreyson 5
Alex: So have you thought of anything to say yet?
Captain: Yeah, do you remember when we “died”?
Alex: What? You idiot! We did that already!
Captain: Oh yeah. No then.
01:47:59
Ed: So what now?
R.O.B.E: Shouldn’t you have gone already? If this is in real time, I mean!
Paul: Yeah, but I wanted to hear what they were going to say!
Beaver-man: What? That makes no sense!
Ed: I almost forgot. Somebody needs to be left in charge of the ship!
Jane Doe 14: What about me? I could be the first woman captain of the Starship Beaverprise. Leading it into a new era of equal opportunities!
Ed: Nah! We’ll have a game of Jenga to decide!
01:58:58
Ed, Paul and B6B enter the pod.
Ed: Well after 100 games of Jenga, of which I won 99 and Jane Doe 14 won 1, I hereby pronounce the new Captain of the Starship Beaverprise to be…Moe!
The pod door begins to slide shut.
Moe: Mooowhahahahahahahaa!
The door closes completely and the pod is jettisoned into space.
01:59:57…01:59:58…01:59:59
02:00:00
